Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize