I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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