oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
