so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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