tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
