So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize