So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Randomize
