i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
