I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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