Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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