I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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