Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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