What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
this hospital has no fireball
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
