and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
