the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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