I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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