Porn is love you can see.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
