He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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