fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
