super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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