dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
