Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
