He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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