What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You pole danced in your parka.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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