My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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