Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
