come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My brain says no but my pants say off.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
