I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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