you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
