Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
