Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Someone signed my nipple.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
