i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize