Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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