he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
