why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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