Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
