He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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