party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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