I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
