im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
