sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
