I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
