Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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