Only a mothe r could love this liver
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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