Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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