New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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