Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
