Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
