I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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