My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
3 2 1 whiskey
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
