I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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