David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
How does it feel to date your dad?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
