is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
