I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I see more hoeing in ur future
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
