chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
