Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
