i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
