I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
