I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
