let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
